In an office in a psychiatric ward a man in a long white coat stands up as another man in a white coat walks in.

1st man: 'Ah doctor Frankenfurt!'
2nd man: 'Doctor Hausenscheizer'

SHAKE HANDS

1st: So wheres the patient you want me to meet
2nd: Patient?
1st: Yes the patient
2nd: Hes right over there
1st: Where?
2nd: There, in the chair

TURNS TO LOOK AT CHAIR

2nd: eep
1st: eep? eep?! where can this patient have gone?!
2nd: I dont know! Oh God!
1st: Come on now Doctor Frankenfurt, just sit down and calm down. Thats it, breathe. OK where did you last see him?
2nd: Who?
1st: The pateint!
2nd: Oh yeh, um over there
1st: In the chair?
2nd: What chair?
1st: That chair
2nd: This chair?
1st: Yes. Your chair.
2nd: My chair?
1st: YES!
2nd: yeh thats where he was
1st: OK, so he must have escaped the room?
2nd: Probably
1st: Probably? Where were you?
2nd: I was here
1st: Then how has the patient escaped?
2nd: He must have stole my keys
1st: Stole your keys?! But you were right here!
2nd: Yes.
1st: Yes?
2nd: I was asleep
1st: But your on duty!
2nd: [SHRUGS] Late night
1st: (sypathetically) Paperwork...?
2nd: Partying
1st: But its a week night! You have reponsibilities!
2nd: Frankly I blame the prostitutes
1st: Prostitutes?!
2nd: They did bring the heroin and ecstacy
1st: Jesus....
2nd: I dont know what i expected, i mean my bodies only used to the prescripton drugs i steal from here
1st: You steal prescription drugs?!
2nd: They stop my necrophiliac tendancies
1st: My God...my god...
2nd: It's Tom actually..
1st: It was a figure of speech!
2nd: My mistake
1st: Hang on here, hang on, your telling me you spent last night high on drugs with a couple of prostitutes?
2nd: It's not a crime is it?
1st: YES!
2nd: Are you sure?
1st: DEFINATLEY!
2nd: I see..
1st: Not to mention that you fell asleep and allowed a patient to escape with your keys
2nd: Hey now that i think about it, i might of gave them to him
1st: Aww you gotta be kidding me....
2nd: Well he looked a little bored... and i was possibly still a little high
1st: YOU! YOU! You are a discrace to this profession and this hospital Doctor and i am going to the Board of directors at once! That is of course you have anything else to add! [LAUGHS]
2nd: Penis
1st: Pardon?!
2nd: I just realised one of the prostitutes had a penis [SHAKES HEAD] thats what that was...
1st: You are a very sick man Doctor Frankenfurt [WALKS OUT]
2nd: Bye.... [WAVES GOODBYE SMILING AND REMOVES COAT, WHISTLING HE STANDS AND SITS IN OPPOSITE CHAIR ]

A new guy strides in, flustered and picks up white coat, putting it on before sitting down.

New_guy: Well Morris, I apologise for that absense, an emergancy case came in. Anyway, i trust you were ok while i was gone?

Morris: Yup

]]> https://vorg.ca/380-psychiatric-ward twistedsix Skit 2003-10-12T17:14:39+00:00 https://vorg.ca/380-psychiatric-ward#replies