Sean blog @ Vorg

Best Songs of 2008

Sean — 2008-12-12T11:55:15+00:00

Every year I return to Sillytech to point people to my favourite tracks of the year. This year is no different.

The best 50 songs of 2008.

As always, I get carried away. You can also download zip files of the whole kit'n'caboodle. And see Dan's favourite albums, here.

Obama on religion and politics

Sean — 2008-02-11T16:44:37+00:00

For me at least, this 40 minute video is a pretty remarkable thing. Barack Obama speaking to a church charity about the role of faith in progressive society. He speaks as a Christian, but his words are thoughtful, attentive, tolerant, complicated. Even as an atheist I am persuaded and almost moved.

watch the video here

It's remarkable to me - almost unprecedented - when you contemplate that this guy might actually have a shot at the presidency.

YAY FLASH GAMES YAY

Sean — 2008-01-03T21:46:24+00:00

I do not play many games but here are two flash games I read about recently at MetaFilter and am now pretty much in love with:

Cursor 10 is a truly original, beautiful and downright exciting game - quick-witted, challenging, and ingenious. All you need to know: YOU HAVE 10 CURSORS. WORK TOGETHER. (not much replay value though.)

Shuffle is like curling or pool or shuffleboard, but with no walls, no nonsense, just balls and shootin' and your heart in yr mouth. Devilishly simple.

The Best Music of 2007

Sean — 2007-12-20T08:44:01+00:00

The Best Music of 2007

Like last year and the year before, I've compiled my favourite songs of the year at Said the Gramophone. This time: fifty of them. The prose is purple, the songs available in individual and zipped form, and I hope they bring some measure of spark to your accursed Thursday morning. Dan, Jordan and I also shared lists of our favourite albums of the year. Happy holidays!

sour balls

Sean — 2007-12-14T18:30:30+00:00

She folded her arms beneath her breasts

Sean — 2007-09-17T10:35:20+00:00

Author Robert Jordan has passed away.

This is sad. Many years ago I enjoyed some of these books very much.

http://www.dragonmount.com/RobertJordan/

However Gil said the following, Friday night:

"If Robert Jordan dies before he finishes the Wheel of Time series, I am going to kill the whole world."

I am already trembling.

my real name is pipelayer

Sean — 2007-05-17T18:00:24+00:00

i hope and pray this is the sensation sweeping the nation.

(nsfw.)

The Best Music of 2006

Sean — 2006-12-12T05:39:57+00:00

The Best Music of 2006

For those who enjoyed it last time (and for those who didn't), I've again compiled my favourite songs of 2006 and made the top 35 available for download at Said the Gramophone, replete with typically Seanian prose. Like a breathless punch in the chest, etc etc.

The Washington Post Battle of Wits

Sean — 2006-01-12T05:07:47+00:00

Many of these are very, very funny.

"The Washington Post 's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:"

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

(more after the break)

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Amazon still sucks

Sean — 2005-06-14T17:32:09+00:00

This thread needs a revive because it is freakin' hilarious.

Seek out the second and third comments.

Gmail Swap

Sean — 2004-05-17T16:16:18+00:00

For those of you who don't read my blog, here's a head's up to a new project of mine - Gmail Swap. Connecting the people who've got Gmail, with the people who want it. (Because people are nice.)

911 Sweepstakes Winner

Sean — 2002-10-25T00:16:19+00:00

One lucky caller is the millionth emergency at 911. Hilarity ensues! (Written by Sean, Mariana, Jerry.)

[OPERATOR sits at flashing switchboard with headset. Very serious. There is a brief phone-ringing sound and OPERATOR pushes a button to connect her with CALLER1.]

CALLER 1: [Hesitant.] ...Hello....

OPERATOR: 911; what is your emergency?

CALLER 1: Uh.... yeeaaahh.....

OPERATOR: Hello? Are you there?

CALLER 1: Ohh... Well.... uh.... is this, uh... 911?

OPERATOR: Yes, you've reached 911. Please state the nature of your emergency.

CALLER 1: Riight.... There's... [suddenly fake-enthusiastic] a murderer! And he's in my house! Uh.

OPERATOR: What is your address please, sir?

CALLER 1: [Sighs.] Aww. Oh man!

[CALLER 1 hangs up. OPERATOR sighs and rolls her eyes. Another ringing sound and OPERATOR is connected with CALLER 2.]

CALLER 2: Ohmygod! I can't believe I finally got through! Cheryl, Cheryl, come over here! I got through!

OPERATOR: What is your emergency, please?

CALLER 2: Ohmygod! I've been trying to get through for hours! My finger hurts-

OPERATOR: That's your emergency, madam?

CALLER 2: Um... Yes! Yes it is! Do you have anything to tell me?

OPERATOR: Er. Yes...

CALLER 2: Oh god! Oh god! I did it! Yes!

OPERATOR: Madam, it's just that I need your address in order to send help...

CALLER 2: That's it?

OPERATOR: [Finally losing patience.] Dammit, yes that's it! For god's sake, 911 is serious! Don't call unless you have a genuine emergency!

[OPERATOR hangs up. She is connected with CALLER 3.]

OPERATOR: Yes, 911?

CALLER 3: [Incoherent excited remarks and breathing.]

OPERATOR: For god's sake!

[OPERATOR hangs up. She is connected with VICTIM.]

VICTIM: [Frantic, terrified.] Help! The man! He's in my house!

OPERATOR: CONGRATULATIONS, ma'am! You're our one millionth caller!!!

VICTIM: [Panicked.] He's got a knife. He's locked me in my house. I think he killed my husband... I'm afraid for my-

OPERATOR: As our one millionth caller, you've won the following beautiful prizes!

VICTIM: [Hysterical.] My address is 4987 Huntley...

OPERATOR: A $300 gift certificate to the Gap!

VICTIM: It's got two pin trees out front...

OPERATOR: Five days at the Relaxo Spa!

VICTIM: It's right near the Couchland Mall...

OPERATOR: And a snazzy 911 t-shirt with matching visor! You are now being transferred LIVE to K.O.N.K. 103.7, the city's best source of news, talk and fun!

[OPERATOR presses button. We hear BERNIE AND THE GOOSE/K.O.N.K theme-music, replete with honking sounds and slide-whistles. BERNIE and THE GOOSE are sitting at a DJ desk. BERNIE wears rock'n'roll t-shirt and DJ sunglasses. THE GOOSE is flamboyant and crazy-looking. He speaks with half-mad intensity.]

BERNIE: Helloooo Montreal, and welcome to Bernie and the Goose! I'm Bernie and-

THE GOOSE: -I'm the Goose!!! Today we have 911's millionth caller! What's your name, ma'am?

VICTIM: [Long, heavy pause. Then, timidly:] ......hello?

BERNIE: Yes ma'am, you're LIVE on K.O.N.K. Montreal, all-talk radio, home of the 7-minute traffic watch-

THE GOOSE: -and the original Sunday night HONK! [Honking sounds.]

VICTIM: Is this 911?

BERNIE: I don''t know, Goose, are we 911?

THE GOOSE: No, but you better call them because we're on FIRE!

[THE GOOSE presses a button and we hear police sirens (radio noise).]

VICTIM: Is that the police?

BERNIE: No ma'am, that's the fire department coming to put us out because we're so hot!

THE GOOSE: Good one, Bernie! Ma'am, how's it fel to be 911's one millionth caller!?

VICTIM: [Quietly, terrifiedly, quickly.] I'm so very very frightened. He cut my leg. I'll never be able to get away.

BERNIE: Well stay right there because you have a chance to ADD to your prize!

THE GOOSE: [Crazily.] Add to your prize! [Honking sounds.]

BERNIE: Answer the following skill-testing question: In the context of the realist paradigm, what singular concept mitigates, delimits and justifies-

THE GOOSE: JUSTIFY! [Honking sounds.]

BERNIE: -justifies all assumptions?

VICTIM: Why aren't you helping me?! I'm in the bedroom. The door has no lock.

BERNIE: Sorry, that's incorrect. I'll repeat the question one more time: In the context of the realist paradigm, what singular concept mitigates, delimits and justifies-

THE GOOSE: JUSTIFY! [Honking sounds.]

BERNIE: -justifies all assumptions?

[There is a click and we hear a new voice, who answers the question. It is the KILLER. He is calm and deadly sounding.]

KILLER: -The world is in a state of anarchy for lack of a supernational actor!

VICTIM: Who is that?

KILLER: Can you guys hold on a second?

[We hear thumping sounds as KILLER puts down the phone, goes up the stairs, opens a door and begins to murder VICTIM. She screams into the phone.]

VICTIM: Help! No... What are you doing! [Screams.] He cut off my fingers! I'll try this mace... Oh no, he's using my own mace against me! My eyes, how they burn! He cut off my arm! Why isn't anyone here yet! He's cutting off my hea-

KILLER: Hey. I'm back.

BERNIE: That's good, because your answer was absolutely....

THE GOOSE: CORRECT! [Honking sounds.]

KILLER: This is wonderful. I've never won anything before in my life. Thank-you!

BERNIE: You win Lambourghini's new Marcielago.

THE GOOSE: Marcielago! [Honking sounds.]

BERNIE: We'll now transfer you back to 911.

KILLER: Uh, yeah... That's... um... ok...

BERNIE: Okay then, stay tuned for this public service announcement about the nieghbourhood watch. Remember to keep your doors and windows locked! [Ends with "More You Know" theme.]